Hi, my name is Tony Bear, I've worn this disquise since 2007 because no one loves me anymore.
Remember, a bear is for life, not just Eid.
Click here to find Mohammed.
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Insane Society
Words & Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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This is the age of equality,
aint got no time for democracy,
abusing your vocabulary,
welcome to the insane society.
I don't subscribe to extremist views,
and never is a word that I seldom use,
I reserve the right to pick and choose
If you say red then I say blue.
Left wing teachers right wing crime,
school kids cant sing nursery rhyme,
another sad sign of the times,
can you read between the lines?
PC, PC, - This is the age of equality,
PC, PC, - aint got no time for democracy,
PC, PC, - abusing your vocabulary,
PC, PC, - our insane society.
You darn't say black and you can't say white,
our past is dark but the future's bright,
take one step left then two steps right,
don't listen to me 'cos I'm talking shite.
Raise your flag don't break or bend,
run the risk it may offend,
pay by cheque, don't overspend,
and never sleep with your best friend.
Chorus
You can't do this, and you can't do that,
well watch this space, don't mix and match,
take your time no tit for tat,
'cos your not fit to call me fat.
Things have changed since I was a lad,
sometimes good, quite often bad,
bite your tongue I'm not your dad,
has everyone gone PC mad ?
.
Fed up of being told what ya can't say or do? So are we. I think these lyrics sum up just what an insane society we live in. Strangely, after performing this song for eighteen months, we have just dropped it from the set.
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Race Riot
Words & Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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There was a riot at the races, they said it was a fix,
when a field of fancied horses took the bookmakers for six,
'cos fifteen million Euro was gambled on the nose,
but someone got a tip off and the jockey was exposed.
Riot, riot, race riot,
riot, riot.
a small group made the running, the punters didn't mind,
The 6 to 5 on favourite was nicely placed behind,
he held back on the standside, two furlongs out from home,
which left a rank outsider, to go on all alone.
Riot, riot, race riot,
riot, riot.
You saw the headlines but you didn't read the news,
Every one a winner although thousands have to lose,
There was a riot at the races, fuelled by wine and booze,
You saw the headlines but you did not read the news.
.
There was a riot at the races, started by one man,
a jury found him guilty of an international scam,
the jockey was suspended, on twenty thousand bail,
some say it were the stewards, who should have gone to jail.
Riot, riot, race riot,
riot, riot.
.
At one of our first gigs, we were totally misunderstood by the bemused audience which prompted me writing the words to this song. It's now one of our most popular tunes and is usually the 2nd song in the set after Bin Laden.
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National Service
Music by Paul D. Waghorn - Words by Garry Johnson
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.
I knocked up a toon which I had no idea where the lyrics would go. Playing around, Sheldon shouted "National Service" and I responded " Hup, two, three, four" By sheer coincidence, Garry Johnsons poem which was featured on the "Strength through oi" album fitted perfectly so after a bit of juggling we came up with this effort.
Of course, National Service was something our generation only learned about from our parents, so it's of little or no importance in today's society.
Perhaps the government should re-introduce it?
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My Town
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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I was born and bred, to a different time,
slightly underfed, I had to toe the line,
but I grew up quick, and I grew up wise,
I saw a passing world through a child's eyes.
.
We had an open door, never locked at night,
neither rich or poor, I learned my wrong from right.
Then the milk turned sour, and the bread went bad,
like a wilting flower, this town went mad?
This is my town, - but things have changed round here,
you dare not walk the streets, folk live in fear.
This is my town, - and now they're moving on,
another generation upped and gone.
I was in no doubt, of this mess we're in
there was no way out, my conscience cried within,
When the blood was spilled, someone called my name,
a destiny fulfilled, I had to take the blame.
Chorus
'cos you can't see what they're seeing,
and you don't know what they know,
and you can't feel what they're feeling,
when they're low.
Chorus
Get out, get out, get out, get out of my town,
Get out, get out, get out, get out of my town,
Get out, get out, get out, get out of my town,
Get out, get out, get out, stay out of my town.
.
. I was initially troubled by how the lyrics of this would be received. As it was a change of direction from the first album and to be honest, it was a while before we nailed it. Every generation witnesses changes in their hometown, but none so more than in the past twenty years.
One of the best songs I've been fortunate enough to write.
..
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The Money Man
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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There's a big hole in my wallet where my money used to be,
i've paid my dues to no one, no tax no V.A.T.
the rich are getting richer in a stale economy,
each pound becomes a prisoner there's nothing left for me,
I don't know who to turn to,
I guess it has to be the dreaded money man.
The Money man.
He drives a brand new beemer and dresses oh so flash,
he's raised my rate of interest and I need some extra cash,
ain't got no pot to piss on, the futures looking bleak,
he comes round every friday, - I pay up once a week,
I'd like to do runner,
but I dare not double cross the dreaded money man.
The Money man
Money man, you're not so funny, man!
money man, you're not so cool,
money man, you're not so funny, man!
your such a fool.
Got a rebate from the taxman, had a little bit of luck,
a small win on the horses, won a monkey on a duck,
I went to see the big man and drove down to his home,
I had but one intention, to pay off all my loan.
I found him lying naked with a suit case full of loot,
now I'm the money man.
.
Two of my pet hates are Traffic Wardens (they may wear bright uniforms, but they are all Nazis) and Loan sharks who prey on the weak, poor or elderly.
This was the first song I wrote after completing the first C.D. with the exception of Tony Bliar. Its just a simple tune but Sheldon gives it a certain amount of venom!
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Meaty Pete
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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He lived with his mother nearly all his life,
a boy of forty three,
felt no desire to take a wife,
there's plenty of fish in the sea,
whilst looking for a playmate,
on the internet chat room scene,
he found someone to talk to,
a girl just turned thirteen.
Is Pete, a paedophile?
Is Pete, a paedophile?
His mum said, "son be careful",
but Pete could see no wrong,
in making lots of new friends,
so thought he'd tag along,
he didn't hear them laughing,
or read the danger signs,
'cos Pete had no intention,
of committing any crime.
Is Pete, a paedophile?
Is Pete, a paedophile?
It was early in the morning,
when the police took Pete away,
fuelled by allegations,
he had no more to say,
In the safety of a hostel,
Pete drew his final breath,
an eternity of boyhood,
is better than one of death.
Is Pete, a paedophile?
Is Pete, a paedophile?
.
Sheldon suggested writing a song about a peadophile but I was far more interested in the subject of someone accused of being one. This was based on someone I knew who took a liking to young boys, and yes, his name was Pete.
Throw enough shit and some of it will stick.
.
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Conspiracy Theory
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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Our story started long ago,
concocted by the press, I know,
ripping Jacks identity,
was he of aristocracy?
In Dallas one November day,
You saw who took out JFK,
standing on that grassy knoll,
the mystery remains unsolved.
I wont buy no conspiracy theory,
would you believe? well, no not really,
I need much more to fully convince me.
The U.S. like call the tune,
they put a man upon the moon,
I think you all misunderstood,
a movie set in Hollywood.
Now here's the mother of all tales,
Lady Di, Princess of Wales,
you remember how she died,
the rumours cannot be denied.
I wont buy no conspiracy theory,
would you believe? well, no not really,
I need much more to fully convince me.
I wont buy no conspiracy theory,
my vision is blurred, and I can't see clearly,
you may be right but it just won't wear with me.
.
Another of Sheldons ideas was to write short stories relating to debatable historical events. This is the result, I've said it all in sixteen lines. Who knows, in the future they will be saying the Americans were responsible for September 11th 2001 ?
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Weapons of War
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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I got an AK 47,
It's loaded, can't ya tell?
my fingers on the trigger,
gonna blow your brains to hell,
I'm a ruthless paid assassin,
some bastard mothers son,
I kill for king or country,
don't care whose side I'm on.
Wow,
Wow,
Wow,
Weapons of war.
A Russian missile launcher,
will satisfy your need,
to take out half a village,
destruction guaranteed,
if you don't ask no questions,
my lips shall tell no lie,
a death wish on your conscience,
is mine to do or die?
Wow,
Wow,
Wow,
Weapons of war.
.
There is no escape from the reality of war. Every day, somehere on this awful planet, many people are dying as a result of funding by civilised nations to terrorist organisations.
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So wrong
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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Third world debt and the starving millions,
the ignorance of politicians.
It's so wrong,
It's so wrong,
It's so, so wrong,
but it still goes on.
Sending boys to fight in mens wars,
business deals designed to flout laws.
Chorus
If you think you have the answer,
tell your neighbours 'cos they don't believe the truth.
.
Gun crime up across the nation,
overwhelming depravation.
Chorus
Selling drugs outside the school gate,
Inflicting pain on those who partake.
Chorus
.
As a punk band, I think it's our moral duty to tackle issues such war, famine and crime. This a crowd pleaser that has become one of my favourites from the 2nd C.D.
..
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Bad Boy
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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I was younger when I learned my trade
a bit of thieving in the shopping arcade,
saw a man giving me the eye,
on my way out as I tried to get by,
I felt a bit sick, when he said "nick nick"
I never noticed that they had an alarm,
Dad blew his top, at the cop shop,
I've got a record that's as long as your arm.
I'm a bad boy,
I'm a bad, bad boy,
I'm a bad boy,
I'm a bad, bad, bad boy.
Now I'm older and I'm in my prime,
no desire to be doing time,
In and out since I was fifteen,
Dad is happy but my Mums not keen,
'cos I'm a nomad, not doing too bad,
a dozen girls in as many towns,
business thriving, duck and diving,
the CSA cannot pin me down.
Chorus
You stand before me guilty as charged and it would give me great pleasure in sentencing you to the maximum punishment bestowed by this court befitting your crime. However, after receiving psychiatric evaluation and probationary reports, you will do 250 hours community service and pay costs of £100
Chorus
.
I was inspired by Ian Durys "Razzle in my pocket" and Supergrass's "Caught by the fuzz" to produce this little ditty. One of the obvious contenders for our "Best of Insane Society" which we will release when we are too old to write new songs!
..
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Buy one get one free
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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Buy one, get one free,
buy one, get one free,
buy one, get one free,
its a false economy.
I don't know where my money goes,
in the Spar or down at Tesco,
check out this weeks special offer,
pay for one, receive another.
T.V. ads may sound misleading,
hungry mouths require feeding,
penny pinching times are hard,
more points on my loyalty card.
Chorus
Take your time to shop around,
ain't no better deal in town,
get some meat in for the freezer,
chocolate bars are there to tease ya,
Fuck all left of last weeks giro,
bounced a cheque with my new biro,
stole some flowers for my mum,
ripped off Tesco's, - two for one!
Chorus
.
Don't be drawn in, the fuckers make so much profit they can afford such special deals. The retail industry is now taking a tumble and they only have themselves to blame. I wish I didn't have to shop at Tesco. I'd love them to go under!
.
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K.A.D.D.Y
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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K.A.D.D.Y.
K.A.D.D.Y.
K.A.D.D.Y.
Sunday afternoon lying on my bed,
I cannot understand whats going on in my head,
a weekend lost, not so surreal,
47 hours and i need to chill.
Monday mornings ain't so great,
countdown to thirteen thirty eight.
.
Feeling better now I've had my fix,
a cup of cold coffee and some beetawix,
the T.V's on but I hear no sound,
ain't no better place than when there's no one around.
I'm at my best this time of day,
tomorrows weather here today.
K.A.D.D.Y.
K.A.D.D.Y.
K.A.D.D.Y.
I'm in heaven and I'm in no doubt,
I've found a way to turn my inside out,
too much rain but the forecast's fine,
six fifty five gonna make her mine.
If I could have one dying wish,
to catch a smile and not a fish!
K.A.D.D.Y.
K.A.D.D.Y.
K.A.D.D.Y.
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For those of you who don't live in the south-east of England, you'll not know that Kaddy Lee-Preston is the sexiest woman on T.V. She is the B.B.C. south east weather presenter and I love her. If you want to see more of Kaddy click here
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Asylum
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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Help, I need help, of the psychiatric kind,
help, I need help, 'cos I'm going out of my mind,
I think I'm hearing voices,
they're shouting in my head,
I won't sleep 'til the morning,
through fear I'll wake up dead.
.
Help, I need help, to mask this poor disquise,
help, I need help, and the silence tells no lies,
I can't control my anger,
a rage that hides within,
don't need no medication,
to overcome my sin.
I'm gonna break out of the asylum,
I'm gonna break out of this hell,
the mighty may have fallen,
but I'll never kiss and tell.
Help, I need help, when there's no one else around,
help, I need help, you keep me tied and bound,
to you I'm just a prisoner,
a lonely schizoid man,
don't mention paranoia,
'cos i'll get you if I can.
I'm gonna break out of the asylum,
I'm gonna break out of this hell,
the mighty may have fallen,
but I'll never kiss and tell.
.
We are all prisoners in the human race. Death is the only escape but for some, the waiting is the sentence. This ain't really a punk song and we have yet to perform it live.
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Time Bomb
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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A megawatt of energy is due to be unleashed,
ain't no use resisting 'cos you can't control the beast,
attempt to blow my fuse then I'll switch to backup power,
you only need a minute but I've given you an hour.
I'm a time bomb and I'm waiting to explode,
I'm a time bomb auto set to countdown mode,
I'm a time bomb, try to intercept my code,
I'm a time bomb and I'm waiting to explode.
I've warned you once before and I won't do so again,
a small misunderstanding 'cos my pleasure is your pain,
should we beg forgiveness for what ever happens next?
or face the consequences for two sinners to accept.
Chorus
7654321
Chorus
I'm running high on empty, but there's nothing in the can
did you really think I was a supersonic man?
I make no reservations for these things I have achieved,
I'll do it all again now my plan has been conceived.
Chorus
.
Before my mum died, she said I was a time bomb waiting to go off. I'm still ticking, so watch out world, the punk terrorist is gonna get ya! This song is so full of sexual innuendos you would think I was a born again pervert!
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I believe in England
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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Back in the sixties, we had it all,
we showed a nation how to play the game of football,
one summer evening, you know the score,
we won a trophy held aloft by Bobby Moore
but since that day I must confess,
we haven't seen too much success.
.
Into the seventies, at Mexico,
we had the Jerry's on the ropes again you know,
we were cruising, 2 nil up,
then Bonetti let in three to lose the world cup.
we must have cried a million tears,
It's been no joke for all these years.
So where did we go wrong?
we can't compete where we don't belong,
In my heart I grieve,
but I still believe.
I was at Wembley, seventy three,
a draw with Poland so we couldn't invade Germany,
our only glory, to beat the Scots,
home internationals were the best that we had got,
those games meant oh so much to me,
but now they're lost in history.
Chorus
That Marradonna,
a man without honour,
we flew home early once again.
.
Since the eighties, too many times,
we got much closer but just couldn't get it right
those three lions, on our shirts,
share the passion never mind how much it hurts,
and every dog must have its day,
our time will come again I pray.
Chorus
I believe in England,
I believe in England,
I believe in England.
.
I am so proud of this song, it says everything I want to hear in a footie anthem. Club or country? This was not even thought about before footballers started earning wages far above their need. Take the money out of the game and give it back to the people.
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You make me sick
Words and Music by Paul D. Waghorn
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Two smelly kids and a third on the way,
out of her head, smokes forty a day,
income support and a run down flat,
not fit for a dog, or even a cat.
This ain't no life for me,
I like some luxury.
Don't give a damn what the neighbours think,
last weeks plates left in the sink,
she took some drugs then woke up wrecked,
aint no way to gain respect.
Her giro's up her nose,
but that's the way it goes.
Two months rent remains unpaid,
but Friday night the tart gets laid,
dumps the kids off with her mum,
wasted with some low life scum.
This loser cannot win,
I'm better out than in.
You make me sick,
You make me sick,
You make me sick,
You make me, - sick
.
Tucked away neatly at the end of this wonderful work of art is an un-credited 1 minute 12 second piece of pure punk. We did this song at our very first gigs with a completley different lyric entitled odd sox.